Post by Turtle95 on Apr 27, 2016 1:42:02 GMT
Being a bi guy really is fun. I love how there is so much bi representation in our culture...Oh wait. Never mind.
Yeah there isn't, which is why I never even knew bisexuality was a real thing until I came to college. For years, I had been told that there was this dreaded binary that you need to choose a side for: Either Gay or Straight. My family wanted me to be straight, as that was the norm. If only I was straight. Hell, that'd solve a lot of inner turmoil.
For years, I thought I was straight because I liked girls no problem. However, I also liked guys and kept repressing those thoughts, even though they wouldn't go away. At one point, I thought I was just gay because that's what everyone assumed I was. I learned because of my feminine gender expression that people assumed that I was gay before even getting to know me. It was one of the first few questions that a person I met asked me, and it was cringeworthy and depressing all at the same time. The fact that I was labeled just a sexuality hurt me deeply. I didn't feel comfortable getting assigned that label because the label was not meant for me.
After finally realizing I was bi last summer, I said it out loud for the first time in a room with my college friends. It was so uplifting and I felt like I could finally be myself. I could finally talk about both boys and girls and feel included everywhere.
And yet, even now, I still am not comfortable being myself. I hide my bi-ness from my family, so that I would appear as the straight guy with a girlfriend with no worries. And even then, I sometimes feel like I have to hide my bi-ness when I first meet someone, as to them, I probably appear to be the happy gay guy. The fact that I feel awkward saying I have a girlfriend because I know they think I'm gay is the worst of it all. Being bi means I should be comfortable expressing all sides of my sexuality, and if I can't even do that, what kind of person am I?
At the end of the day, I'm not straight. But I'm not gay either. I'm bi, and I want people to accept that. Honestly, I want to accept that myself.
Yeah there isn't, which is why I never even knew bisexuality was a real thing until I came to college. For years, I had been told that there was this dreaded binary that you need to choose a side for: Either Gay or Straight. My family wanted me to be straight, as that was the norm. If only I was straight. Hell, that'd solve a lot of inner turmoil.
For years, I thought I was straight because I liked girls no problem. However, I also liked guys and kept repressing those thoughts, even though they wouldn't go away. At one point, I thought I was just gay because that's what everyone assumed I was. I learned because of my feminine gender expression that people assumed that I was gay before even getting to know me. It was one of the first few questions that a person I met asked me, and it was cringeworthy and depressing all at the same time. The fact that I was labeled just a sexuality hurt me deeply. I didn't feel comfortable getting assigned that label because the label was not meant for me.
After finally realizing I was bi last summer, I said it out loud for the first time in a room with my college friends. It was so uplifting and I felt like I could finally be myself. I could finally talk about both boys and girls and feel included everywhere.
And yet, even now, I still am not comfortable being myself. I hide my bi-ness from my family, so that I would appear as the straight guy with a girlfriend with no worries. And even then, I sometimes feel like I have to hide my bi-ness when I first meet someone, as to them, I probably appear to be the happy gay guy. The fact that I feel awkward saying I have a girlfriend because I know they think I'm gay is the worst of it all. Being bi means I should be comfortable expressing all sides of my sexuality, and if I can't even do that, what kind of person am I?
At the end of the day, I'm not straight. But I'm not gay either. I'm bi, and I want people to accept that. Honestly, I want to accept that myself.
